DATING TIPS>> How come always BITCHY ones have husbands?!

Well Well!! Valentines Day is today. Dating Tips have been already posted on all blogs. They are bunch of crap!!! Do not waste your precious time reading those crappy tips! REMEMBER!! Only bitchy gays have husbands. Why is that?!! Here is what you need to do! TRUST Z-:):):)

1) Date more than one guy at the same time--- Never be available! Being available every nite of the week and at the end of every whimsical phone call means you are making yourself uninteresting and a possible doormat! Keep yourself busy! Date more than one guy at the same time. Dating 3 boys at the same time is great way to start.Believe in Z!!! With this way you will be always busy and they will be running after you!! Who do you think you are! GODDESS!!! Helllloooo!!! You need to play with these boys!!!! If you really like one of them and you wanna hold onto him. Let the other ones know you are dumping them. Don't get into bullshit like " You are really good guy, but... BLAH BLAH!" Be direct and honest! Just tell him! "Due to the economy, I'm going to have to let you go!" It feels really good dumping someone HUH!
2) Have sex at the 1st date--- Everyone says having sex at the 1st date is really BAD!! NO & NO! It is not!!!! That is bullshit!!! You are gay! Gays likes score! Listen Z!
You have to do your best at the 1st nite, otherwise like ADD people, ur date would loose his Interest. At the end of the nite!! You must get to the point. Tell him" You have been looking at my crotch all nite. Shall we go to my apartment and continue our discussion on my lap" or more direct “Do u wanna fuck?! I would love to taste ur salami!"
3) Never be on time--- Let ur date suffer little bit. You must be late minimum 25 minutes. Going to date on time screams "I'm desperate and needy". Even if you are desperate, ur hot date does not need to know. It is completely OK to be late. Actually it is so much fun. Leave the house like you are going to be on time to your date. Do not go to the date place directly! Go to nearest bar of your date place. Order a drink! Start sipping ur drink slowly! Enjoyyyy! And text ur hottie saying you are stuck in traffic! Z told you be late, not be rude!!! You should inform your suffering date!! It makes more painful!!!
4) Let him talk---Let your date talk! Those queens love talking (YUP! YUP!) The more they talk the more they like you. They think date is going very well. (Poor souls) . For some reason after hours talking they get horny!! So being a quite person will get to eat his ass in your bed! Some of the smart ones realize sometime that you are not talking. Tell him" I'm waiting to Valium kick in" or “ I stuck an ambien in my butt. It made me woozy”
5) Be Honest---End of the date if you are not interested in that guy. You should tell him the truth. Being lied and hopes kept alive is an evil and malicious act! (Yes it is so not nice, Z means it!) There are so many ways to tell him “ Get away from me boring prick!”. Tell him "Do you see this running sore on my forehead. Yeah! I have staph infection" or “Do u think eventually we will become best friends?"
6) Never call someone more than ones--- Never call someone more than once in a day unless they reply. Desperation and instability are huge turn offs. You do not want to be his fatal attraction. Instead of calling him!! you can email and text him over 15 times in a day. There are no limits for those!!!! Trust Z! Be serious with your text messages or emails!!! Try to get to know him. You can ask him “Do u believe in fairies?” or “ How do you feel about double dipping” or “ Have you ever been raped? If not I can help you on that”
7) Be creative---Date should be always FUN! Nobody wants to date a boring person. Be creative! Take your date to a place you have never been or you have been before and loved it! It should be some place interesting! >>>Sex Museum, Hot nude yoga, Riding horse naked, Get waxed together, Take him 12 steps classes with you , Go to China town and check out herbal Viagra options, Get Botox with him, Meet with him at the dark room of a leather bar ......
8) Don't give away too much-- Giving way too much information about yourself puts off people. They LOVE enigma and mystery. Revealing yourself to your new date is BAD BAD!! HEY STUD! Be smart! Remember he will never be your best friend, stop telling him your inner most secrets! You are with him for fuck. And keep in mind nobody wants to fuck his bestfriend!!! If he insists learning your personal stuff and keeps asking question, just tell him "Can't we just enjoy comfortable silence" and start making meditation noises "Hummm Hummmm"
9) Never date a married person--- Just simply have him be your fuck body. Don't feel sorry about them! They are already doomed anyway. And keep in mind best fuck bodies are bi ones.They are willing to try everthig!!! Z means it!!!

ENJOY YOUR DATE!!! Keep stalking Z!!!
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Talk to Z! Leave your comments!